The Story without a Title
by goldphoenix007
Summary: This is a sequel to Alls fair in love and war. Harry and Ron have to visit Voldemort, so he can help him reverse a potion gone wrong...terribly and horribly wrong...only to find that things are just getting worse. eekgads!
1. EDMITPCPEMLBFEW

Where were we? Ah yes young Harry and Ron in Dumbledore's office, holding the tickle me Elmo portkey to reach Voldemort at St. Mungo's so he can help with a very queer Draco Malfoy as they were told by Fred and George.

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As the giggle from the Elmo toy thing subsided, the two boys found themselves in a dark and dreary hallway. A sign above their heads read:

"St Mungo's extremely deranged, mentally insane, totally psychotic, completely psychopathic, eerily maniacal loony bin for evil wizards."

Or to short it up, St Mungo's E.D.M.I.T.P.C.P.E.M.L.B.F.E.W. …. Now isn't that easier?

"Wow that's some sign eh Harry?" Ron asked, awestruck.

"Yea…at least we definitely know we're in the right place. Right we have to find Voldemort's room then." Harry replied.

"Er…Harry…there is only one room in here…and it's that one" Ron said, pointing at the door at the end of the hallway.

It was made of steel and had many locks and intricate designs in shapes resembling snakes. 

Harry and Ron edged near the door, fear becoming them.

"Uhh how do we suppose we get in?" Harry asked, touching the door to see some sort of opening device, such as a doorknob.

"Well the only way in is the door…" Ron said daftly.

"Well thanks Ron, for that outstanding observation." Harry said, sarcasm dripping from his words.

"Haha thanks Harry." Ron said, oblivious to Harry's caustic remarks.  
As the two boys observed the door, they heard footsteps approaching the hallway.

"Can I help you boys?" a voice said from the other side.

"I—err…. housekeeping?" Harry said lamely.

"Housekeeping? Well of course…you must be those nutters that muggle-born doctor wanted here. Well go on…I'll open the door for you."

It turns out it was an elderly old women who seemed to be half blind. She scuttled over to the door and took out a key and opened the door quietly.

"Now be careful…he's rather sensitive. Poor soul." The women said, nodding her head towards the blocked curtain.

"What do you know about him?" Ron asked, hoping dear old Voldy wouldn't jump out and finish them off.

"Well, he came a while back…begging for help. Said he wanted to change his ways. Well truth be told, he wasn't the nicest bugger you'd meet, but the poor man…well he suffered an injury?" The women said, slowly shaking her head.

"What? Brain damage?" Harry said, with a snicker.

"Why yes dearie, that's exactly what happened!" the women said excitedly.

Harry and Ron stood astounded.

"How did it happen?" Ron asked, trying to sound concerned.

"Oh you must hear it. Very pitiful. Very pitiful indeed. So when he came here, he seemed to be a bit of an evil man. But now---well anyways. One day he was walking around and terrorizing the whole hospital when suddenly --------------------------

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_Ahh ok…the first chapter to the sequels done. Yes so it wasn't that great…it never is really but the point is it's done. ) Sorry for the awfully short chapter but my brain kind of went dead and I cant think of anything at the moment. So if you want to know what happened to dear old Voldemort, wait for the next chapter…that is…. when I think up of something. Ideas are greatly welcome._


	2. Caw!

"Oh you must hear it. Very pitiful. Very pitiful indeed. So when he came here, he seemed to be a bit of an evil man. But now---well anyways. One day he was walking around and terrorizing the whole hospital when suddenly --------------------------

_That's where we left off, didn't we? Sorry for the extremely long delay. I'm just very lazy. Well here's the next chapter._

As the woman began her lovely story…Harry and Ron heard a cawing noise coming out from the other end of the corridor.

"What on earth is that?!" Harry exclaimed.

The cawing noise got louder and they heard a _swoosh_ every now and then. Suddenly,  
they saw it.

Well it wasn't exactly a it, in fact, it was a he. A he with wavy, blond hair and glittering white teeth. And a tight spandex bird suit with wings.

"Oh dear god", the nurse said, sighing.

"Lockhart?" Ron asked in disbelief. He knew Gilderoy was a patient here at St.Mungos but he never really expected to see him again.

"Yes love…it is indeed Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart…he's completely gone of the deep end these days" The nurse said, sighing a bit more.

Harry felt a bit guilty after hearing this bit, but because he only cares for himself because he's a selfish little brat, he let it go. 

"Er...What is he doing here?" Harry asked the nurse.

"I don't know…he's probably wandering around…as usual. Some bloke gave him this bird costume and he hasn't taken it off since. He really thinks he's a bird. Why, just days ago, he nearly leapt off from his window. And he's refused to speak, he only caws." The nurse said, wiping a tear from her eyes because she was one of those really emotional people who get all sensitive and such. 

"Right…" Harry said, trying rather hard not to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Caw CAW CAWWWWWWWWWW" Lockhart screamed about. With that, he fluttered his wings about and tried to gallop around, pretending to take off. He did a really big gallop and landed flat on his face, which let out laughter from Ron. The nurse gave him a "That's not very nice" look.

"Look at me…I'm a birdie!" Lockhart shrieked.

"Right dear, of course you are…err…back away from the window love. Back away now" The Nurse said, as Lockhart got closer to a nearby window.

Lockhart gave the nurse a fleeting smile as he got closer to the window and then sat on its sill.

"Now dear… listen to me…get off of that window. Remember what happened last time. You wouldn't want that sharp needle again…now do you?" The Nurse said calmly.

Lockhart got a look of fright in his face but he quickly wiped that off and gave her a sparkly grin.

"Caw caw CAW" and with those three last bird calls, he jumped off the window and "flew".

The nurse shrieked and quickly ran to get help. About five seconds later, Harry and Ron heard a _thud_ and a small "caw".

Harry and Ron looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"Wow…what an idiot" Ron said, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Ahahah I know. Hey but at least that crybaby nurse is gone and we can go into the room" Harry said.

Ron nodded and the two boys slowly tiptoed to the door. 

They gave each other one last look before Harry slowly pushed the door open, since the nurse already opened its looks, and went in. Ron followed closely.

Ron and Harry simultaneously gasped in astonishment at what that saw.

Because it was……….simply horrifying and mind-boggling and…milk curdling even. It was so unthinkable, so unsubstantial …well you get it. 

What was it you ask?

Well, you'll know in the next chapter…that is, after I think of what it is first 


End file.
